My father is a very funny man who is most comfortable speaking in cliches. Two of his favorites: It’s my way or the highway & You get more flies with honey than vinegar. These axioms also reflect his parenting philosophy, and I attribute them to with my split personality. I HATES being told what to do and I got out of my way to be nice to people, even when I don’t want to or they don’t deserve it.
Last weekend, I bought a ten cent copy of Skinny Bitch: A no-nonsense tough-love guide for savvy girls who want to stop eating crap and start looking fabulous! by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin at a yard sale. While the name is certainly intriguing, I was more interested in the #1 New York Times Bestseller seal of approval. I wanted to know how Skinny Bitch ended up on the best seller list.
Samples of my yard sale find:
Chapter 1: Give It Up “Coffee is for pussies. If you can’t wake up without it, it’s because you are either addicted to caffeine, sleep deprived or a generally unhealthy slob.”
Chapter 3: Sugar is the Devil “Don’t shit or piss yourselves, but all of these natural sweeteners possess one or more of the following health benefits: enzymes, calcium, iron, postassium….”
Chapter 6: The Myths and LIes About Protein “Do you think an avocado, which is a fruit, is going to turn you into a hippo? Common sense, bitches.”
Chapter 8: Pooping “How much are you putting in your mouth, and how much is coming out your ass?”
Perhaps if I wasn’t lugging the baggage of my upbringing, this book would make me laugh, but it didn’t. This book made me crazy and it offended me as a reader and writer, a woman and an eater of healthy food. It wasn’t the swearing (if you know me, you know that I have a salty way of expressing myself) and not because of the content (a lot of it mirrored my eating philosophy and habits), but because these two women dogmatically declared, over and over and over again, in the most offensive way, that if you don’t follow the tenants of their book, you are a morally bankrupt, without worth, big fat pig. What????????????????????????
Are people really motivated by name calling abuse? Apparently they are because, again, this book, if I am to believe the cover, is a #1 New York Times Bestseller.
So how many books have to be sold to be considered a bestseller? Wikipedia says, “In everyday use, the term bestseller is not usually associated with a specified level of sales, and may be used very loosely indeed in publisher’s publicity. Bestsellers tend not to be books considered of superior academic value or literary quality, though there are exceptions.”
Whew. I feel better, but I still I want my ten cents back.
